Monday, January 31, 2011

what i do these days

Today's manicure is really subtle, light purple one with twist of french manicure. Even though it is really subtle, which is usually not my thing, I really like it. Then some previous manicures. I absolutely adore the pink polish.

ELF - Lilac and a shimmery light purple Shisem which is unnumbered.

Sally Hansen - Thinking of Blue as a base and dots with Sally Hansen - Fairy Teal.

A french manicure with Catrice - Wrapped around my finger and OPI - Show it and glow it.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


Had a little bit of fun yesterday when I finally took out my nail polish brushes. Wanted to start with something fairly easy, trying to make flames on my nails. For a first try my left hand came out quite decent (as I painted with my right hand). My right hand is a totally different story, it is a total mess. Not surprising. But practice makes perfect so I guess I just have to continue trying.

What you do is you paint on a thick layer of the background color, make some strokes of your other color at the tip of your nail. Then you take your brush and paint flames by dragging the gray color in a sweeping motion up into the pink color. Easy as that. At least it looks easy when someone else does it...

Monday, January 24, 2011

i am social and outgoing

The interview on Friday went well and a few interesting things happened. First of all the interviewer was a little bit surprised when I told him I like working with numbers as he did not see and get that feeling from my experiences so far. From my application he saw me as a social and outgoing person and he could not see that I am a person who likes numbers, statistics and actually thinks it is fun with Excel. The reason being that from his own experience of the people in his line of work you were either a person into numbers or someone social and outgoing. Usually either or. And there I came with all of it and made him all confused and having difficulties figuring me out. So we ended up talking for quite some time and he asked several personal questions as well to get hold of who I am.

The second thing that hit me is that up until quite recently I would not really have described myself as social and outgoing, and it still surprises me a little when people uses those characteristics about me. But it is true. I just have to get used to the fact that it is two qualities that actually describes me.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

since she's been gone

I have had a break as you can tell. Or perhaps just one more of those breaks where I stop thinking of all the things I do not want to think about. But slowly I am starting to think about it all again. I just have to.

My spirit rose high just a few minutes ago when I got a call from an unknown caller on my cell phone. It turned out to be a call back on an application I sent just 30 minutes before the call.

I have sent out only two applications so far this year (yeah, I know.. should not be proud of that number but I will get better...) and already got a call back for one of them.

So tomorrow I have got an interview which feels good. I am starting to get into the game again. Also as I met with a job coach this week so that is a good thing to get my ass started again.

In a few months time I will have a job. Dammit.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

scotch tape manicure

Of course I had to continue with the scotch tape manis (again thanks to Chloe's Nails) and take it one step further compared to the other day. Here you have the result and I love it! I love scotch tape.

Fist a base of Milani - HD, a nice holographic color that you unfortunately can't see the effect of in pics.

Then the random scotch tape pattern and a layer of IsaDora - Petrol Posh.

Friday, January 7, 2011

the christmas sweets

The Christmas sweets of 2010. All the nine kinds (well, forgot to take a pic on the fudge, and the recipe here). The absolute, all time favorite is the liquorice toffee and the white chocolate and lime truffle. Yummy.

Candied almonds (but cinnamon excluded)
Toffee rice
White chocolate and lime truffle. THE FAVORITE!
White chocolate and saffron truffle. Love the saffron!
Peanut brittle.
Cake balls. Nice but not a favorite, perhaps with another filling?
Knäck (Swedish Christmas toffee). Delicious as always.
Chocolate coated liquorice toffee. Another favorite!

new year's manicure

Continuing a bit on the nail theme (there is plenty of photos of a variety of nail polish colors on my camera...). Of course I had to have something gorgeous on my nails for New Years. I would have loved to have this spectacular manicure but did not have the products or time to get them either. Perhaps next year! I tried out a variety of manicures and finally came up with one I was really happy with.

A glitter overload manicure. Of course there has to be glitter, it is New Years, especially the holographic glitters and my favorite color turquoise. There is a whole lot of polish on my nails here: six nail polishes (excluding base and top coat) out of which four are glitters.


New Year's manicure.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

walking klutz

The klutz is managing to walk today instead of jumping around on one foot. I can at least stand on my heel, but not so much on the whole foot. Today I ventured out in the snow storm to throw out some trash and pick up the mail. I thought about calling the neighbor to do pick up the mail, but stubborn as I am I did it myself. I walked the couple of hundred meters to the mailbox, although in the slowest pace.

Of course it is when you cannot do something you want to do it. I felt like doing something, head out, or doing whatever. On the other hand it would not be such a good idea do head out with the car in this snow storm.

So I have been enjoying myself with doing my nails. I am on my fifth manicure for today. What? Bored? Me?

Got really inspired by Erika at Chloe's Nails and her scotch tape designs. So easy and so nice.

LA Girl - Iron Red

Savina - Purple Confett

Orly - Shine

Got bored of the silver and made a new manicure on top with China Glaze - Jitterbug

And the final one, China Glaze - Custom Kicks with some decoration with Orly - Glitz

Unfortunately I do not have the good camera but the colors should be fairly accurate. Turquoise is always difficult to get color accurate on photos.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


I tend to always keep my legs up when sitting on chairs or stools and of course the consequence is that they fall asleep now and then. That is what happened yesterday when sitting talking to my sister. I stepped of the stool and took a step and it did not feel bad. I took the next step and realized I had made a miscalculation as the foot was totally not obeying me. Now I have a sprained foot.

Yesterday when I wanted to get downstairs I had to do it kid-style and sit on my bum to make it down. I also jumped around on one foot. Luckily I carried in some firewood and shoveled some snow yesterday, before it all happened.

I am such a klutz.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

i am a mess

Not a very positive post the last one. And I fear this will not be either. I just need to get it out so I can have a decent night of sleep with less thoughts flying around in my head (although I doubt they will disappear...).

It is all a mess. I am a mess. I have always been the optimistic one, truly believing that it always works out in the end. But the last month or two, you could say I hit rock bottom. Maybe that was a bit extreme but probably the lowest point so far. I guess I have lost all belief and motivation and I do not know how to get out of it. I guess I have not really talked about it either since I already have the worst conscience and it would only get worse when I verbalize the thoughts that are in there.

I honestly never thought I would and could let it go this far. I dread even thinking about it but more than one year has passed without me getting a job. I am really disappointed. Of course I can only blame myself because who else is going to get me a job? I truly had a much better future in mind than this.

And of course I start doubt and question everything. Did I really study the right thing? Did I make the right choices? I got accepted to a half time masters program (distance studies, Communication for Development) with subjects that seem really interesting. But where would it lead me? It is really interesting topics, as where my previous studies, but what can I gain from it? A question I cannot really answer. It all boils down to the same questions: What do I want to work with? Where do I see myself going?

And I do not know the answers.

I keep telling myself to snap out of it. But it is easier said than done. I guess I have grown up avoiding, in my eyes unnecessary, conflicts. But that has probably also led me to easily shrug things off. I can easily shrug the bad things off my shoulders as I usually have a sanctuary to go to. Lately I have spent more and more time in that sanctuary not letting the bad things get to me, but the longer I stay away from it all the harder it gets. The bad conscience just keep piling up. And I escape to baking, TV, and nail polish. Anything that will keep the bad conscience away for a few more hours. The hours turn into days, the days turn into weeks, and so on.

I need to get out of this rut. Hopefully getting some thoughts written down, some tears shed, and a new year will get me somewhere. I have thought it several times before, but I really want to believe it. I truly want to believe that some of my previous positivity and strength will find its way back and get me on a better track for 2011.


Monday, January 3, 2011

two thousand eleven

Happy New Year to all you out there.

So now it is a new year. Time to start with a clean slate.

I hope it will be a good year. I will make it a good year.

I just need to find my want and desire again. And try not to let the downs hit me so hard.