Thursday, May 29, 2008

hide and seek

Ransom notes keep falling out your mouth
Mid-sweet talk, newspaper word cut-outs
Speak no feeling, no I don't believe you
You don't care a bit. You don't care a bit

hide and seek

last exam ever?

So the exam is tomorrow. My last exam ever. Hopefully. I sure hope the right questions come so I can pass the exam. A pass is all I need. I will get so angry at myself if I do not pass it since I know I could have studied more. I do not want to come back in August to do a re-exam.

The problem has been motivation. I have had none whatsoever this week. In my mind I am two weeks ahead and already on vacation. Taking it easy or just chilling on the beach. I need to focus for at least one or two weeks. For the exam tomorrow and then I also got an assignment for the course that needs to get done. Then of course my thesis, but I am counting on not having many changes to do.

Now I am just going to get a good night sleep for the morning exam tomorrow. And cross my fingers.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

sushiing like crazy

I am so happy that a sushi restaurant has opened really close to my home. There is one in the east part of town, but lazy as I am I never go there and this new one is on the west side.
Where I live. Just on the way home from school.
It is just perfect. Too perfect. Too easy.
During the last six days I have had sushi three times for dinner.
Me likey.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

get your act together

What is wrong with me?
Got my last exam ever on Friday.
I am not sure I know enough to pass.
Still I am not studying.
Not now during the evening.
Not enough during the days.
And some things just will not stick.
Will be interesting on Friday.
It will be a freestyle, an expression coined during the exchange in Finland.
All I need is a pass.
How difficult can it be.
I have done it before.

Monday, May 26, 2008


Today I finished my thesis! Well, almost. Now I can just wait until the presentation on June 2nd to hear what my opponent and tutors have to say. But I am counting on no major criticism so I do not think I will have much to change.

Now it is just to focus on the exam, getting a little bit stressed. 'Exchange rates and international finance', so money models, assumptions, and relationships to remember. I cannot seem to get a few relationships into my head! It is three days to go, hopefully I will make it. I only require a pass, how hard can it be. I am crossing my fingers.

Sunday, May 25, 2008


Not a good night for Sweden. We ended up as number 18. Not even in the top five as predicted in advance by many. All the others that were predicted to win got many votes, but not Sweden. Too bad. Better luck next time. Unfortunately Russia won. I wanted Greece to win, she was so cute in her pink dress and the song was good. The Russian guy was so bad at English and the pronunciation. For those of you that have not figured out it yet, I watched the Eurovision Song Contest tonight. We did not even get may points from our dear old neighbors, scandalous. But as said, better luck next time.

Friday, May 23, 2008

overheard in new york

Professor to class, as he writes on board: ...Moro Islamic Liberation Front, known for its acronym. [A few students get it and laugh.]


Tourist: Oh honey, look at this purse I bought! It's a real coach bag and it was so cheap. I bought it on Canal street. You should see all of the Gucci, Prada, and Louis Vuitton they've got. I can't believe you can get the real thing for so cheap.

another geeky friday

Here I am again. Another Friday evening in front of the laptop working on the thesis. The thesis that was supposed to be done last Friday. But not that much left now, conclusion, further research, and a few more sentences on the introduction and previous research. Then on Monday it is time. Time for handing it in. The time has come! Almost.

Thursday, May 22, 2008


My hair is short once again. Me likey. It is also lighter once again. Felt strange sitting at the hairdresser seeing it much lighter. Been so used to being dark for about two years. But it was time for a change and I really like it.

I am going to miss my hairdresser. Been going to her for four years and the worst thing is trying to find a new one. It is a little bit to expensive to come back to Jönköping every time I need a haircut. She was the one to cut off my ugly long hair four years ago and since then it has only become shorter and shorter. I am not going back to long hair.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008


A real nail-biter this game between Manchester United and Chelsea in the final of Champions League. Yeah, I took the evening off. Kind of. I had my thesis with me to read and correct for errors. I did not get that much done however. Tomorrow evening instead.

Now I really need to head to bed, since I asked M to give me a wake up call at 7.15 am. Since it is apparently impossible for me to get up in the mornings.

bad news, good news

What a turn of events.
I was about to start cooking and put a pot with some oil in on the stove to cook my meat in. Sat in front of the computer while waiting for it to heat up. The next thing I know the oil is on fire in the pot! Seeing big flames coming from it! Luckily I am smart enough not to pour water on it and I just put on the lid to choke the fire. So now it is kind of smelly here after all the smoke. I am glad there were nothing that got destroyed, my kitchen fan just got a little bit gray but now it is white again. Yeah, my pot got kind of messy. It is black and smells bad, maybe I will be able to use it again. We will see.

But as they say, after rain comes sunshine!
When I went checking my mail I had received an email from Maersk where I had the interview on Monday. And they want me back for a second interview!! Yeay! This time the interview will last for two hours and they want to check if I have the right qualifications for it and maybe test my knowledge. Scary. So the 9th of June I will be heading back to Copenhagen. I am glad I have so much to do, there is no time to get nervous. At least not now.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

exchange rates and international finance

The most interesting book I am reading right now. I am lying. It is the most boring thing right now. Studying in school from 8 am to 5 pm, coming home making dinner, then sitting in front of the computer working on my thesis from 8 pm to 12 am. That is my life until Monday next week. Then I am handing in my thesis and then I can study for the exam all day/evening long.

the interview

The Maersk interview went well. At least in my opinion. The result of the logic test was good and I got above average. Then I got to do a personality test, first pick words that I thought matched my personality, then the same thing again but this time what I thought other people think of me. WIth the results of the personality test, she started to tell me what kind of person I am. I had problems not smiling and tried to keep the laughter inside because it matched so well. It felt absurd that she could tell from a couple of characteristics how I would act in different situations. It was fun and interesting.

Then she moved on to the actual interview and I got the opportunity to talk about my CV and what I have done. Then she asked questions like where I will be in five years, a situation where I used my analytical skills, one time when I had been goal oriented etc. It was only one question where I felt I did not give a good answer, she asked me if I could see myself as a manager and of course I said yes. Then she asked me why I want to be a manager. I answered it but not the best answer. But everything else went well I think.

So lets see in two weeks what kind of email I will receive. Either 'Thanks, but no thanks' or one welcoming me back for another interview. But everything from this point on will only be a plus since I know about the competition. I am just happy that I got called for an interview.

Monday, May 19, 2008

forever gone

God damn it! All my bookmarks in Firefox is totally gone. Important ones like applications for internships and jobs. And a whole lot of unimportant ones that I still wanted to keep. Well, can just blame myself since I shut down my computer this morning in a way that I should not have done. I was in a hurry to the train and almost there I realized I had forgot to transfer money to my VISA card. Great. Just to run home. Luckily I left early for the train so I had time. I prepared everything well except that. Realizing that I did not have any money in Copenhagen would not have been much fun. But it worked out. Except that I lost all of my bookmarks... A developed country's problem I know. Still soo annoying.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

ready or not here i come

I do not know if I ever will be ready. I feel kind of prepared. But since I never been to an interview of this kind before I do not really know what to expect. I am sure it will be okay. I have gone through a list of questions that can be asked during an interview and I have even bought 'Dagens Industri' a Swedish business paper. Just in case, so I know what is going on in the world. They might not ask those kind of questions, but I rather be prepared than not. And I have picked an outfit that I am happy with. Not to strict and a little bit of me.

So lets cross our fingers that it will go great and they will call me back for a second interview. And that I then will become one of the 450 trainees that they take in out of 85 000 applicants. About 5 % chance...


Kind of embarrassed. I didn't find my jacket at the club we went to. Then of course I totally complained about it to my friends at the hamburger place. Gave it one one more chance and went looking for my jacket. And of course I found it. I wasn't T H A T drunk... I just didn't recognize it since it was new and i had a cardigan hanging on the hanger as well. Well, just excuses I guess. But I'm happy that I found it at all since I thought it was totally gone.
Now it's time for a sandwich of any kind and then bed. Good night, sleep tight.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

destination unknown

I left my job my boss, my car and my home,
I'm leaving for a destination I still don't know
Somewhere nobody must have duties at all
And if you like this you can follow me so let's go
To the place where we belong and leave our troubles at home
To that paradise of love and joy our destination unknown

Now I won't feel those heavy shoulders no more
My life got better now I finally enjoy
Yes all the people wanna come here and so
Come on and join us you can do that now let's go
To the place where we belong and leave our troubles at home
To a paradise of love and joy

We left the city the pollution the crowd,
The air is clear here oceans blue I love that sound
Happy on this destination we found and if you want us you can follow me
Follow me
And lets go
To the place where we belong and leave our troubles at home
Come with me
We can go
To a paradise of love and joy a - destination unknown...

too bad

Dammit. We lost against Canada. But it was a good game and Canada is a great team. Better luck next time.

Friday, May 16, 2008


A couple of days ago I bought a mango at the grocery store. Yesterday it was time to eat the delicious fruit. Mango must be my all time favorite of fruits. Then of course there are mangoes and there are mangoes. This one did not taste that much, how can it after been transported on a boat for miles and miles. There is nothing like the mangoes in Philippines.

And to change the subject totally, but still on the yellow subject. I bought a yellow nail polish the other day. Love it. The only disadvantage is that I had to put on four layers.

such a geek

I was in school until 8 pm today.
On a Friday.
What a nerd.
My plan was to be mostly done with my thesis today. You think I made it? Of course not. My tutors were mostly out of office this week so it was difficult to proceed. Today I got some help and can finish this soon hopefully. Unfortunately it is time to start studying for the exam next week. So it will be exam-studying during the days and thesis-writing in the evenings. I have two lovely weeks to look forward to.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

i AM studying

The Detrimental Effects of Early Childhood Exposure to Candyland

Little girl: Dad. Dad. Dad.
Dad: Stop pulling on me. What?
Little girl, pointing up at an enormous black man: He looks like a big chocolate bar!
Dad, with a forced grin: She's five.

--Line, Grace's Market Place


I seem to have a problem getting up it the morning nowadays. Today I came to school as late as 10.30 am, usually I want to be there at 9 am. I should try to go to bed earlier and see if I still cannot get up. Otherwise I guess I am just tired of all the school stuff and rather stay in bed. Next week I really need to get up early in the mornings since the exam are coming up and I need to start studying for it. Not looking forward to that. The good thing, however, is that it is my last exam. Ever.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008


Finally started analyzing the results in my thesis. Analyzing my 54 regressions. Lovely. Remember that my tutor told me to go ahead? Well, I just discovered that some of my data is inconsistent with my theory. Not that good. Tomorrow I deal with that. I am not sure I can figure it out, but we will see.

quote of the day

When economists do it they are definitely elastic.

Monday, May 12, 2008

becoming french?

I think I have had too much free time these last couple of days. Been writing a lot of posts here. And today at school I did absolutely nothing. When I have a thesis to finish. Think I am becoming a lazy French.

Now I have been reading job applications to make me feel not as guilty about doing nothing. But I just feel more lost since I do not know what I am looking for. I just want to go back to the good old times with no worries. Lie on a beach while eating a delicious mango. And of course a cold beer.


I am not getting anything done. It has been like this the whole day. My head is not working with me. I am just making the time pass so that I can go home. Because I cannot go home early with a clean conscience. This paper needs to be finished on Friday so I need to hurry up. Maybe tomorrow will be a better day. Hopefully.

bad news or not?

Just received an email that I did not get the internship in Singapore. But I am actually okay with it. I stopped thinking about the internship and the feelings about it calmed down. I know I have changed my mind from one thing to another and then back again, been really indecisive. Now I think I will focus more on searching for trainee programs and jobs in Stockholm and in Europe. Right now I feel that is were I want to be. Of course you never know if I will change my mind later again.

Now I have to make really good impression during the interview for M in Copenhagen. The funny thing is that I thought I had a larger chance to get the internship in Singapore than the trainee at M. So according to that I will not have any chance at all for M. But now I am gonna put the internship at the embassy in the past and just focus on the future and hope for the best.

Sunday, May 11, 2008


Went to the movies to see What Happens in Vegas... and it was really good. It was long time ago I saw such a funny movie, laughed a lot. Of course it does not hurt when your future husband is in the movie. Eye candy =)

no more orangy hair but red faced instead

About that nice dinner, it was successful. I made my feta-cheese-filled beef with some ratatouille to that. I love cooking and I have been doing a lot of it lately. Mostly because I am spending so much time in school and need a lunch box with me. Cannot spend money on eating out everyday, that would be very expensive. And of course I have a picture,

I also got a picture of my red face. It got kind of red after the day at the beach. The good thing is that the redish will turn brow rather soon, so in a couple of days I will look normal again. Colored my hair as well, cause I hated that orangy color it had turned. I have book an appointment with my hairdresser, but that is not until one or two weeks. And I for sure do not want to have the ugly orangy color when going for the interview at M. So it will have to do for now and then my hairdresser will make it look good again.

A lot of pictures these days. I finally started to use my camera more, I hope I can keep it going.

perfect day

Today was for sure a perfect Sunday. We started it at 9am with a walk around the lake and a workout in the grass. It felt good, have to make it a everyday task I think. Unfortunately it is supposed to get cold again next week, around ten degrees, so we had to enjoy this warm weekend. Of course I had breakfast outside again. Then of course we had to head to the beach because of the sunshine, clear blue sky, and 24 degrees. So we packed our bags and took our bikes for a ride to the beach.

Jönköping is beautiful in the summer.

We managed to find a free spot in the sand. It was not too crowded. It was just to start working on the tan. Unfortunately I got a little bit burned on a few places, but it will become less red tomorrow and start turning brown. Just have to put some lotion on it.

So my plan was to head to school after the beach. Like right now. But I do not know if I can spoil a perfect day with going to school. Probably not. I will just chill, cook a nice dinner later, and then go to the movies tonight.

A relaxed day like this I have not had in ages. It feels great. I needed it.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

rock star

Caught the last 30 minutes of the movie Rock Star on TV. Love that movie. Especially the song Mark Wahlberg is singing in the end. Must be one of my all time favorites. The Verve Pipe with Colorful.

Look ahead as far as you can see
We live in drama but we'll die in a comedy

I know I can be colorful
I know I can be gray
I know this loser's living fortunate
Cause I know you will love me either way

kubb evening

I did not stay for long in school. Could not since the weather was so nice. Instead I met up with the girls downtown. I love the warm weather and all it implies. That you do not have to wear that much clothes anymore. You can start looking a little bit healthier and not as white. You can be outside in the evening and not freeze your ass off.

When it is so warm outside I never want to eat something heavy. That is why I love salads in the summer. So today I had a really good salad with bulgur, red onion, cocktail tomatoes, feta cheese, and pesto. Mmmm...

After dinner it was time to play. So we decided to play some 'kubb' for a while.

20 degrees

Lovely weather outside. Had my breakfast while reading a book outside. A perfect day. And now I need to head to school. Not as lovely.

Friday, May 9, 2008

i'm booked

My tutor gave me the go-ahead for my data in the thesis so now I have a preliminary date for my presentation on 2nd of June. It feels great, now I just need to put together everything, run my 27 regressions once more in the other program Ewiews, and then write the analysis. How I look forward to that. Well, I have one week to finish it all. Then I need to start studying for my exam in 'Advanced International Macroeconomics'. I bought the book for the course in the beginning, but have not even opened it yet. I guess I will do the normal style, two weeks for reading the book, doing exercises and old exams. It has worked all other times. I will manage it.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

what to do, what to do

My anxiety has calmed down a little, thank god. The stress as well. My problem though, is that when I get to stressed I just shut down. I think that is one reason why I am not that stressed anymore. I do not like that. But I think I am able to gather enough energy to finish this thesis and still get a good grade. The bad thing is that I feel I am getting to that point where I just want to get it over with. That is when I stop caring about the grades and everything. I have made a good job this far, so I have to keep it up for just a few more weeks.

I feel all energy goes to the thesis right now, so do not really have much left searching for trainee programs and jobs. It is a full time job just looking for one. It is not easier when you do not know what you want. It is impossible to figure out what you want in a couple of months. I had hoped to do it during my four years of studies. But nooo. Here I am, after four years at university, and still do not have a clue. What to do?

it's a sunshiny day

Lovely weather today. After school we sat in a park and had ice cream. They have even promised 24 degrees this weekend. Great! Hopefully I will have some time to be outside between all the studying. It is funny how you forget all about the bad Swedish weather as soon as the spring comes with sunshine. All the bad memories of wind, rain, and snow are all gone until next fall.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

no work, just play

Can't I just speed up this last month and have it over and done with. I'm for sure just longing back to Helsinki just because the life there was so simple. It was easy to push away all the thoughts about school and the future. Babbling a lot about it, I know. Just need to get it all out so I hopefully can move on and finish it. I just want to move on to the next phase of my life. But if I'm not ready to be serious now, will I be later this year? Maybe I just wanna play and have fun a while longer. I don't wanna grow up just yet.

got an interview

I am happy. I got an interview for the M.I.S.E. program at Maersk so I am heading to Copenhagen 19th of May. It is my favorite of all trainee programs. Of course I know there is a slim chance that I would actually get it but I will keep my fingers crossed. I would like this trainee program more than the internship in Singapore because I would actually get paid. I would love the internship at the Swedish embassy in Singapore, but as said, the disadvantage is that there is no money involved.

I cannot seem to make up my mind regarding what I actually want. I always seem to be agonizing over decisions. Two weeks ago, all I wanted was to go back to Southeast Asia. Now? Now I feel more like staying in Europe getting an internship at a large company.

What do I want? Please, someone tell me.

too lazy to cook and do the dishes

Went for dinner at the rather new Lebanese restaurant and the food was really good. I loved the falafel, have to eat that again. Then I bought some dessert to bring home. Ben & Jerry's, my best friends. Decided to try a new one instead of my favorite 'Cookie dough ice cream', but no ice cream can beat my favorite.

So yesterday I ordered lovely sushi from my favorite restaurant Asian Garden. The only bad thing is that the sushi is kind of expensive at that place. So I was happily surprised when I noticed a newly opened sushi place really close to my home. Loovely.

So I have been lazy and have not cooked or done any dishes since I got home. I guess I should do some cooking tomorrow so I can bring some food for lunch at school. Cannot really afford buying lunch everyday. Tomorrow I need to get my lazy ass up and do the dishes.

tour eiffel your baguette!

Just love the new Swedish commercial for Falcon Lite. It's hilarious.

Monday, May 5, 2008

quote of the day

"Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, but only empties today of its strength"

Charles H. Spurgeon

"Fear is a habit; so is self-pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. You can eliminate all of these negative habits with two simple resolves: I can!! and I will!!"


I think I am letting the stress get to me. It only happened once before and then I did not realize it. It was the first time I had surgery and after I got stomach problems and the doctors think it was because of stress. Stress because of school work and all things I had to finish before surgery. I do not think it will be as bad as then of course, I just need one or two days to get used to it again. Since I have been shutting it all out for a week it all comes rushing back and it is just hard to let it all in at once. I have to take it a little at a time and hopefully, me taking it slowly, will not cause any major problems.

And tomorrow it is time for school again. The serious life. What I miss the exchange life. I wish I could sleep for a couple of weeks and when I wake up the thesis and exam will be done and over and with. Unfortunately it will not happen. I am going to sleep for only a couple of hours and then I have to deal with it.

i don't wanna get serious

It all hit me when the bus was driving in to Jönköping again.
How much I have to do for school now. How little free time I will have.

It was so nice to get away from it all and just enjoy life for a while. Life as it should be, with not that many worries. Just enjoying life and having fun with your friends.

But now all the worries are back. Worries about the thesis and the upcoming exam I have not read anything for. Worries about my future. Whether I get the internship in Singapore or not, or if I get any internship or job at all.

One week of no worries was great and needed. But it has taken its toll on me and now it comes rushing back. It all sucks. What I wish I was in Finland again being unserious and just having fun.

Saturday, May 3, 2008

back again and so tired

Back in Sweden again to the normal life. What a blast I had during Vappu in Helsinki. So great to see everybody again, the people still studying there and all of us coming in. It was me and all the guys. Truly memorable. More info and pictures later.

It was just to fly back home and go to bed since I was so tired and had to work the next day. Now I am back from an eleven hours shift at the bar. Another one tomorrow. My eyelids are not staying up so really need my bed now.