Tuesday, June 30, 2009

bad news

I was going to tell you about my great weekend in Stockholm with uni friends and a lot of sunshine. But I got some bad news today. So that is kind of occupying my thoughts now. And it will probably occupy my mind for some time forward.

Monday, June 29, 2009

few more mintues of holiday

Enjoying my last few hours in freedom. In three hours I will be on my way to the airport and back to Copenhagen again. Been home in Sthlm for a couple of days and it has been so great so I do not want to leave. I have now an empty house here all by myself with a big lawn where I can just chill in the sun with no worries whatsoever. I wish I was rich so I could just take more days off once in a while. Or just more paid vacation than I have now.

Enough with this. Now I am going out to enjoy a few more minutes in the sun before I have to take on reality again and start to pack.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Monday, June 22, 2009

taste of summer

A midsummer is no midsummer without strawberries. So I had to make up for it since I did not have any strawberries in the weekend. I know, it is disastrous but better late than never (and the weekend was not really a typical midsummer anyway).

Of course I did not have any Swedish strawberries so Danish had to do. So tonight I had strawberries with milk and a bit of cream. Yummy. That is how summer tastes.

And tomorrow I will get another opportunity to celebrate midsummer. How great is that? Tomorrow it is Sankt Hans eve, which is the Danish midsummer. However, I think I will skip the first part: 'It has been celebrated since the times of the Vikings, by drinking goat piss and visiting healing water wells and making a large bonfire to ward away evil spirits'.

I guess I will see tomorrow if it can get anywhere near the great Swedish midsummer.


I am sad. And disappointed.
I found out yesterday that Jason Mraz is playing in Copenhagen this week. And it is all sold out. Why could I not have been more aware and discovered that months ago. Would have been so much fun to see him.

I remember the first song I ever heard of him, his debut single 'The remedy (I won't worry)' in 2003. It was when I was in US and it was played a lot in the radio and became a big hit. I have several songs that I connect with my time in US and this is one is among the top favorite ones.

midsummer and unexpected celebrations

Midsummer came and passed. I did not plan for any real celebrations and stayed in Cph and was even working on Friday since it is not a holiday here. However, it turned out to be a quite interesting day anyway with celebrations. Not really midsummer celebrations but still.

I got a call on Friday from a friend asking if he and some others could join my dinner party Friday night. Since I had no plans of a dinner party I was fairly surprised. He has heard from H who in turn heard from A that I was having a dinner party. This 'dinner party' was a loose plan of K and me going out to dinner only. Apperently I was the last one to know about this dinner party at my own place. Then he asked me again: but you are going to the birthday party right? Once again I am surprised since I have heard nothing about a birthday party.

Then I just had to call my beloved friends that had arrange a dinner party at my place without my knowledge. Due to the short notice I did not do any cooking but we just decided to buy some nice Italian pizza from our favorite place. So I had a midsummer pizza instead of the herring that I do not even like.

Then we headed to the birthday party of a guy that I never met. The party was a lot of fun. The birthday boy was moving out and hence did not care about disturbance he may cause the neighbors. My friends dropped out quite early (the couples...) and as always my co-worker K and me was there until the end. We had no reason to leave early and had fun playing this game where you had to answer questions from cards. Those people now know more (intimate) details than they should after only knowing each other for a few hours. But fun we had indeed.

As the hours passed it got brighter and brighter outside which felt weird since you are usually familiar with the opposite after a long winter. Even the birds had woken up by now. When we finally decided to break up it was very late or early depending on how you see it. I never had to worry about how to get home, since at this point the S-trains had started to run again and no TAXI was needed. There was no people on the way home from a night out but only people heading to work. The metro was clean and smelled of soap, which was a first.

Coming home I went straight to bed dead tired. As always, I woke up damn early at 11 am with only 4 ½ hours of sleep (then you can also figure out when I went to bed...). I had to go up since I could not fall asleep again even though being really tired. Always have to do that and take a nap during the day instead.

So Midsummer eve did involve some kind of celebrations in the end. And Midsummer day involved a lot of sleeping and chilling in the sofa in front of the TV.

Thursday, June 18, 2009


Apparently that is the new thing. Instead of burnout. If I would have read it some months ago I would have just viewed it with skepticism. However, when reading the article a week ago I actually recognized it. A few of the points fit to my situation at work. But in my case it is not the manager's fault in delegating or anything like that. It is just the work itself and me. My job and me is just not the perfect match. I guess it kind of felt good reading it, knowing that there are more out there.

To anyone, including myself, I would just say that 'you are the only one who can do anything about it'. Make changes. I would. If I only knew to what. And with the current economic situation it is not the easiest with change.

But at least it feels a bit better know. I think I have reached the stage where I have accepted it and sees it as a means to an end. It does not really mean I am improving. But hopefully I will get there.

what the...

Today I booked a train ticket with SJ to go to Kalmar for my cousin's 30th birthday party. I wanted to book as soon as possible since the train tickets gets more expensive by every day. I chose what times I wanted to go and pressed ok. One step is to choose the flexibility of the ticket, if you want to have the possibility to change or refund the ticket for an extra fee. Then you of course always have the alternative to pay nothing extra and have no flexibility. That is what I thought.

How in the world can they charge you 5 SEK for wanting a nonrefundable ticket? What kind of business is that. There was no other choice but to pay the additional fee to get the ticket that you did not want to rebook or refund.

Monday, June 15, 2009

wish i could do that

One more.


scandinavian ambassador

Someone said that my blog has been a bit depressing lately. So here is something to cheer you up.

a means to an end

Since I have been in a situation before where I was not happy with my job I have to try to learn from that experience. Interesting observation is that the word 'vantrivas' does not exist in English according to NE.se and is just translated to 'not be happy with'. Although, 'vantrivas' is a quite strong word and I am not sure whether it suits this situation.

After three months in this situation where I was unhappy I had two choices: 1) Accept the situation for what it was, a means to an end, or 2) change. I went for choice number one due to several reasons and after I made that choice it was easy. Sure, I still was not happy with the situation but I had made peace with it. It was never going to be what I dreamt of. But I have absolutely no regrets since it was a great time of my life. What made me survive it was everything around it, my free time that I had for myself and with my friends.

I think I need to do something similar this time. I need to get over it and see it for what it is: a means to an end. The tricky part here is that I do not know when it will ends or what comes next. Last time I knew it was for a limited time and I knew what was coming next. So just have to wait and see if it works this time as well. Because I do not just want to take anything that I will end up disliking. With this financial situation I might have to stay for a while.

kingstown in copenhagen

From the office window I just saw a yacht passing by. It must been the biggest one I have ever seen. Okay, Queen Margarethe's is probably a bit bigger that I saw some weeks ago. The interesting thing though, is the flag in the stern. I did not recognize the flag and my co-worker noticed that it said Kingstown on the boat. Of course we googled it and Kingstown is the capital of Saint Vincent and the Grenadines and is located in the Caribbiean.

Wonder what that boat is doing here. Did it come all the way from Caribbean? That is a long trip. I hope they brought the weather with them.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

sunday blues disease

It is ten to one. I should have been in bed preferably two hours ago. One hour should have been fine too. Then I would have woken up with enough sleep. I guess it is bad when I noticed last week that I can go to bed at two thirty and still survive at work.

However. I seemingly have problems with going to bed. I just want it to keep being Sunday. I guess by going to bed I have to acknowledge that it is Monday tomorrow. And another working week.

Apparently I do not want that.


I got one last chance to get myself together
I can't lose no more time it's now or never
And I try to remember who I used to be

I got one last chance to get myself together
Time has come for me to change again


Went to the opening of Hornsleth bar in Copenhagen last night. A really cool place that this Danish artist Hornsleth has started. Hornsleth that apperently gave goats to people in a village in Uganda in exchange for adding his name to theirs.

The bar is full of his art and is kind of provocative but I like it. The girls were wearing white with blood stains, one girl with blood on the inside of her thighs, and another one with the word 'bitch' in red letters at her back. On the walls downstairs you had 'blood' pouring down the walls, and sentences written on the walls like 'fuck my brains out', 'sex', 'pussy power', 'revenge' etc. You probably get the deal. We also had drinks for free until 11 and the music was really good. It was just the mix I love, a mix of everything. Old and new.

Really have to go there again and hope that the music will be as good. Even though it was a nice evening I ended going back home quite early. I went there with my friend's friends and those girls was not the nicest company. They seemed nice but did no effort whatsoever. I tried but they did not give anything back. After my friend's guy of interest arrived, I left soon after since I did not really want to stay with a bunch of people who could not care less that I was there. So next time I will go there with some that do care.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

james morrison

Today the sun is shining finally. To bad we did not have that weather yesterday evening. It had rained for more than 24h and I just felt like sitting at home with a blanket watching tv. But I made it out to met up a friend and go to Tivoli. To watch James Morrison. And I am really happy I went. It was worth standing outside in the drizzling rain for two hours for James. Me likes his music.

It is perfect now when I bought this card to Tivoli so I can get in for free. And it was not even that expensive. I think I have already made it worth it with the consert yesterday and one entry previously. Let's see if they have any more good conserts coming up.

from pause to play

I guess I had some kind of a break from the blog. That happens once in a while when I have things going on that I do not really want to deal with. Because when I am writing my blog I always think about what is going on in your life. I guess I did not really want to do that.

That is also why I have been watching a lot of series on my computer. Flight from life you may call it. I watched the first (and unfortunately the only) season of Privileged which I liked. Damn those cliffhangers in series that is not returning. Then we continued with two seasons of Greek. I like that show. Perhaps not the best motivational series since it only makes me wanting to go back to studying. Now I cannot wait until Monday when they air the season two finale. Kind of annoying as well, watching the two seasons and then finding out that the season finale will be available in four days. Serious problem huh?

Now, I guess it is time to press the play button for my thoughts and not keep having them on pause...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

quiet evening

Sometimes you just enjoy the quiet evenings. But why not spend one of those quiet evenings with your friends having a cocktail? That is nice too. Taking your mind off of all the other stuff. Nothing better than friends and a cocktail to help with that.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009


Maybe it is time to take action. Since taking action will not lead to any immediate changes it could be an idea to start as soon as possible. Problematic though since I do not know what I want.

I might know something though. At the moment I am feeling that I should stay here. Changes can be made but I do not have to change country. I should give this city some more time and just not move on as soon as I feel restless. There are other changes to be made first.

First I just need to change the mind into taking action. Sometimes it is just so easy to let it be.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009


Something to cheer myself up. Friends gag reel always works. However, not as well this time as it usually does. Maybe I will have a better day tomorrow. One can hope.

having a bad day

motivation is on top...

It totally sucks.
A couple of weeks ago we were notified that our office will be moved. Not too far, just one floor down. We got to see the seating arrangement and of course it is problematic in our group since we are seven people. I ended up sitting with another group instead of with K and the others. What is annoying is that we have a student worker in our group and he is only here 15-20 h a week. And apperently he cannot sit by himself.

Last time we moved it was important to get him included and then we were split four and three. But now I guess it is not that important. When it is just me.
I think this seating arrangement will do wonders for my motivation.

I just feel like going home.
In the mean time I am listening to the radio show Christer and trying to do some work.