bad start, good start

I do not know how often I am dreaming since I never remember my dreams. A few times I do and sometimes I just know that I have been dreaming but not about what.

Sometime during Sunday night I woke up. I woke up because I think I was crying. I at least woke up with the weirdest feeling, it was like I was anxious, afraid, or sad. It felt strange and kind of exhausting. I do not know what it was all about since I do not remember what I was dreaming. It was all in a daze and then I fell asleep again.

When I woke up again for real when the alarm rang, I still had this weird feelings and I remembered what happened. I was dead tired and had problems getting out of bed. It was not a good night sleep at all. I managed to get through the working day just fine even though being so tired in the morning.

But at least the day ended good when I met up C from my Swedish class at a café. I have had their wonderful quesadilla twice but this time I went for the burger. With the good ending I hope it will continue throughout the night and give me a good start for Tuesday.

happenings

This week had a happy ending. The bad week ended with a really nice weekend. Leaving work on Friday was the first good thing. Then I just had to get home and get ready for the BBQ at A's house which she share with friends. Nice place to have a BBQ since it has its own garden and all. A really nice evening and a good party.

Saturday was not very eventful but it was nice doing nothing. I started an Entourage marathon since I thought it was time for a rerun. Love that show. I did make some time between the episodes to get out of the house. I went out in the sun for a while and then I ended up at the mall next to me and bought a toaster. Then I continued the marathon. As you read, very eventful.

Sunday was spent in Louisiana with E that I met at the BBQ. Here we are not talking about the state in US since that requires a bit more time traveling. This Louisiana is only 40 min away close to Helsingör and is a museum of modern art. It was nice, there was an exhibition of German, surrealism painter Max Ernst. Then we had 'fika' outside in their really nice café by the water and in the sun, seeing Sweden on the other side.

Good weekend. Now I am looking forward to the next. Next countdown starts.

precaution

How is it possible? This morning I managed to turn off BOTH of my alarms after they rang. I woke up properly 15 minutes before I had to be at work. When I realized I was of course wide awake. Hurry, hurry! Good think I have started to pick out my outfit for work before I go to bed. Just to jump into the clothes, brush my teeth, put on some mascara and head out the door.

15 minutes after I woke up I was out the door and I was in time for some breakfast at work. Good thing they extended the breakfast until 9am instead of 8.30am. Good for us late comers.

I was not worried about coming late to work. It is rather flexible with the working hours anyway in our section. I was at work 8.50am and I was not the last one to arrive. My manager usually comes around 9am everyday. So he was not even there to notice me being late.

I safeguarded myself with two alarms since I know from experience that I sometimes manage to turn one off. But what do I do know? I should start going to bed earlier I tell myself every night. But here I am in front of the computer and it is already 11.06... dammit.

good day?

Today was kind of a good day.
I did not have time to think. To think if I am bored of the job or not. Now I think I will continue my rerun of Entourage. Keeps me from thinking and makes be laugh instead. Seems like a good deal to me.

crash and burn

When you feel all alone
And a loyal friend is hard to find
You're caught in a one way street
With the monsters in your head



'Cause there has always been heartache and pain
And when it's over you'll breathe again

not time to move on just yet

I am afraid. My motivation is lacking at work. I do not dread the mornings when I have to get up for work. But I am always counting the hours til five o'clock and days til weekends during my working day. I have only worked here about eight months which is not a lot. It is too early to be tired of a working place. It got worse last week and I am not sure if it is just a temporary or lasting feeling. Before starting to work I lived in three different places during 1.5 year. After 5-6 months I moved on to something new which is not possible now. Have I gotten used to it?

After my year in US when the work totally sucked, I promised myself not to be in a situation like that again. But it is not like I can just pick up and leave and start something new. If I could, I would not know where to go since I am not sure what I want to do. One thing I am starting to realize is that finance might not be my calling.

In US I survived due to all my very good friends that made it worth staying. Maybe that is what I am missing here. Well, perhaps not completely missing but definitely not enough.

Something needs to change. I need to stay at least another year and this lack of motivation will not be helping. But how do you swing it the other way?

long lost pal

I got a very surprising message on Facebook today. I got a smile on my face when I saw the name of who it was from. It was from this guy I played a lot with when I was a kid. We know each other from when we were babies and had vacation together and had many play dates. Due to certain circumstances we lost contact when I was in middle school I think.

I have now and then wondered what he is up to today. Last time was during Easter when I was at home and watched videos of when my sister and I was young. He was on several of the videos and we were playing together in the yard. Since he has a kind of a common name it is not easy to find on e.g. Facebook. But now he found me.

I love how internet and Facebook get you in contact with people you never thought you would hear from again.

solstollarna

washboard

I watched Berg flyttar in ('Berg is moving in') with Carina Berg today. She was 'moving in' with Marcus Schenkenberg in New York where he lives today. The male supermodel from the little country of Sweden. There is many fine guys in this small country. He is still darn good looking and does not look anything near the 41 years old he is.

humor