Sunday, August 12, 2007

what do i want?

I'm doing research about my future.
Since I don't know what I want to make of my future.
As of June next year, when I have my degree, I don't know what will happen with me. So I'm trying to gather some information of different ways to go. Like internships, trainee programs or job opportunities.

It would be interesting to work for a multinational company. But I think I'm more into something else, like working for UN of EU. Working with something within UN has always been kind of a dream. Unfortunately I've read the criteria for internships and such and I have to be fluent in English and another of the UN working languages, i.e. French, Spanish, Arabic, Russian or Chinese. And that's the problem, I'm not fluent in any of the latter. Although I read French for five years in school I'm no way near fluent. I know, 'I'm still young' and 'I have all the time in the world' and all. But still. I'm just tired. Tired of not knowing.

I'm kind of tired of that I'm always thinking 'it will be alright in the end', because what if it won't? (Funny thing is that even when I wrote that I was thinking 'it will be alright') I've never seen a clear path for me. It has always been kind of a blur and everything that I've done seems like they've just happened. In high school I had no idea what I wanted to study. A few months before we're suppose to choose a program, the school that I was applying to had this new program with a lot of self studies, media/IT courses and social science. It sounded interesting so I took the opportunity. That's when I got interested in social science and later applied to JIBS to study economics with no previous knowledge about it. After high school I went to US for a year as an au pair. An idea I got from a friend that was thinking of it and it sounded interesting too and I had a great time. Then I went to JIBS to study economics and I've loved it. It was the perfect choice. So of course I consider myself lucky since I found something that I really enjoy studying. But I'm not really sure how I ended up there. So I guess I'm just waiting for the next thing to happen. The moment that will let me know what I wanna do with my future.

Some part of me believe in destiny. Some moments in our lives are meant to happen. But I also believe that we can make our own choices to get there.
I just have to keep asking myself: What do I want?

I'll just keep on doing research and keeping my eyes open for a sign.

No comments:

Post a Comment