my home?

This has been a long, long day. We arrived at 6 am this morning to Stockholm with the overnight ferry from Turku in Finland. It feels strange going up that early because already at noon if feels like many more hours should have passed. And it is different compared to going up early for work since then you are actually doing something.

So back in Stockholm. Well, not really Stockholm since this home, my previous home, my parents home, is located about 50 km north of Stockholm. In the countryside. I have noticed that I cannot really call it my home anymore, I always refer to this place as my parents place these days. I moved away from here six years ago (oh my, has it been that long? I feel old...) and at that point it stopped being my home. It is my childhood home and I will always refer to it as some kind of home. But it is not my home. And my home, who knows where that is.

But this place will now be my home for some time now, but only temporary. It is funny though, because this I will really only see as temporary but I also saw my home in Copenhagen as temporary. But now, moving away from Cph I realize it truly was more than that. It really was my home and I truly am going to miss it. I never thought. I am going to miss the town, I did really like it. I am going to miss the people, my friends. It is always sad leaving a place, knowing you will never have it back.

However, I am not sure I want it back. Since I did only see it as temporary at one point and now I am probably just idolizing it since I have to move back home. There is some other place out there for me, that will feel more like my home. I am sure. I just have to find it. And if living at home for a while is one step in finding it, it is fine by me.

Copenhagen was just - I would not call it detour, but another path to get there. To my home. Perhaps next place will not be my home either, but then it will just be another step in the right direction.

Somehow there is something exciting in not knowing where my next home will be. I just hope it does not take months and months to get there. But I cannot expect the same flow as one year ago and how easy it was to get my first job. One can hope, but with this situation I am not counting on it.